Apparently you make a good broom.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
