Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
