She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize