do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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