Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
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