i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
