im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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