My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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