I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
