shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
