I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
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We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
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I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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