i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
