my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Randomize
