garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Bring me that man meat
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
