I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
it hurts more in the daytime
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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