how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
