Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
