Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
