fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
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