I could make wine with my vomit
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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