It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
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Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
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Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
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