In the future we'll all be gay
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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