Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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