If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
