Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
