butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Randomize
