STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
