He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize