My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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