ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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