i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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