what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
