How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
