Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
