just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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