Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
