i just had sex bonerless
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
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Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
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Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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