I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
