You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
