So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Randomize