I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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