An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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