i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I have already put on my inside pants.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize
