I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
