Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
