Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
