i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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