her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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