can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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