I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
