so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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