Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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