my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
