New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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