im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
