Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
