Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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