I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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