i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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