4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
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He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
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The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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