Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I wish there were birth control emojis
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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