I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
