Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
