It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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