dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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