Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize