Just mADE A PArabola og urine
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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